Blogger Wars

I started Candy & Couture over a year ago as a creative outlet for myself – as a sort of online pinboard of information for myself on things that I like and love. As I have a passion for music and fashion, this became my blog’s primary identity, however I do like to mix it up sometimes with restaurant reviews and the odd “Male vs. Female Debate” article.

However, as I have developed my blog over this past year, I almost decided to give up on my blog a couple of months back due to certain bloggers behaviour and overall bitchiness. I’m not a bitch. Anyone who knows me would tell you the same. But unlike some bloggers, I didn’t start this blog to be invited to events. Nor do I blog to get freebies from designers or PR companies. I blog, because I love what I do! It’s very simple. I will stay awake until the early hours of the morning editing images and putting together posts, because I genuinely love to write and to research.

Being a blogger, especially in Dubai, you get to witness certain “Blogger Wars” almost on a daily basis. Now if one blogger does a “Dress Up” feature with a boutique one month and another blogger does something similar the next, does that give them a right to say that their idea was copied or stolen!? Just because you have a video blog and another blogger starts a similar feature on their blog, does that give you a right to bitch about them? And when did any blogger have the right to say that another blogger can’t use the term “Head over Heels” in a blog post, because they have used it on their blog? Therefore this was an ‘infringement’ of their posts and if the post wasn’t removed, they would ask the blog host to have the blog removed completely!? Are you kidding me!?

Girls are catty creatures. They can be soooo damn sweet to your face and then the moment your back is turned, they’ll turn on you like a swarm of killer bees. Then there are the girls that just want to know you to get what they can from you. Do I have connections? Yes I do. Am I just going to give them to you? Are you mad?! I have worked really hard to develop relationships with people over several years. And yes, I said “worked”. Not living off mummy and daddy which I was accused of by a fellow blogger. Puh-lease! Get to know me first before you start making assumptions or judgments about me.

The reason for this very public rant is that as my blog has developed this year, so has my understanding of blogger’s etiquette. I’m not like a lot of people who will kiss ass until my lips are chapped. I will however support local talent and designers if I truly like their products and designs. I will attend events, but not just to been seen and have my picture taken in the hope that it lands in the society pages of Ahlan! or OK magazine. I will take silly pictures with Fishfayce, because they are cute mementos that I like to keep and display on my desktop. I will not however pretend to be someone who I am not and therefore I will support fellow bloggers who are respectful of others rather than those who have a superiority complex over other bloggers. Word to the wise – you don’t.

I have met some incredible people over the past year and landed roles and opportunities that may not have come about had it not have been for this blog. Interviewing Roberto Cavalli, meeting Henry Holland and getting the inside scoop of Usher’s wardrobe are just some of the things I was able to do this year as a direct result of being a ‘blogger’ and its something that I will forever be grateful for.

I will always be completely indebted to my blog readers who always make me smile with comments and emails, especially when I go AWOL (usually the result of too many late nights out in Dubai!) You absolutely rock! And finally, I’d just like to thank my friends who gave me a kick up the arse when I contemplated ‘quitting’ from blogging because I couldn’t stand the drama and bitchiness! I will continue to blog because I absolutely LOVE it. No other reason than that.

Bisous xoxo

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21 thoughts on “Blogger Wars

  1. What a very candid post! It’s a very interesting climate in the UAE, this blogging thing. It’s a small place and everyone knows everyone else for one thing, there are some very good and ‘true’ bloggers out there, but there are many whom are not. What I’d like to know is how many people are reading said blogs from a PR point of view. As an interested observer, we need to see more general ‘lifestyle’ orientated bloggers in the UAE, the fashion ‘phase’ will even out from a PR point of view – the agencies are instructed to ‘engage’ bloggers and they have very little choice, so it is the same group of girls – must be bored stupid of each other by now! It’s obvious by the blogs themselves who knows their stuff and who won’t last the distance..

  2. WOW! I realize now that I haven’t been “out there” enough to know this was going on. For real? Remove posts because someone used the same term? Accusing each other for stealing ideas? And here i am, thinking we all were friends? This makes me sad. 😦

    • It is actually really sad considering how much time us bloggers tend to spend together at events and what not. It’s a pity, because there really is no reason for all the bitchiness

  3. I haven’t experienced anything of this. Maybe I’m just naive and don’t see it but I have always thought everyone was getting along. I like hanging out with all the girls and meet at the events. I actually mentioned that in an interview today. I see many of them as really good friends. I really hope this “war” stops coz like I wrote earlier; it’s sad and there’s no reason. There’s room for everyone and I don’t think there’s a single idea that hasn’t been done before. There’s millions of blogs out there! Dubai is just a small dot on the map.

  4. While I do not write about fashion, but music and underground bands in the UAE, I have exactly the same bitchiness and it all comes from men who see me (a woman) doing well by herself and resent it (since music is clearly an all male preserve).
    I have had Dubai event organisers and other bloggers literally comment on my physical attributes in a very unpleasant way, threaten me and continuously harass me online.
    I have also had the ‘remove that post because it uses the same phrase as I used’ thing.
    I do what I do for the same reason you do – for the love of it – and because of this I refuse to let them win and give up.
    People hate you for a reason and that reason is that you are good at what you are doing, and are likely far better than them – jealousy makes people very, very nasty 🙂

    • Since I posted this on my blog, my phone hasn’t stopped ringing throughout the night. Some people agreeing with me, some not so much and then there were the “Who do you think you are” calls and messages!
      People are always going to hate on anyone remotely successful or happy so please don’t give up on what you love to do! As the saying goes, haters make you famous and jealousy is an incredibly nasty disease!

  5. What u said is sooo true Sahar! i really don’t understand the hate or the superiority complex of older bloggers, anyone can blog and either u succeed or u fail it all depends on u! i’m blogging since almost one year now, i get invited to events all the time but i went only to 2 maybe, cz i don’t care about events and i don’t have time i’d rather spend time with my husband after work than going to events!… Also i don’t get the ass licking on twitter all the time… seriously it annoys me!it’s obvious that people don’t stand each other … personally i blog about everything i like, i’m married and i have a full time job so i blog only when i have time and i don’t blog in weekends cz that’s my free time and i’d rather enjoy it outside and not sit at home infront of the computer… i blog because i like it and no one can judge me! and i don’t give a shit about anyone!!!

  6. wow ! does that really happens ? accuses of stealing ! bitching ! stabbing in the back 😐
    oh my gosh those girls look really nice
    am pretty shocked but you know what !
    be proud of who u are cause u are honest and straight forward and at least u had the courage to step out and spoke about it
    and just
    ignore ignore ignore ignore
    as long as u do it for the love of blogging do it for blogging ! don’t let any one or any body
    get in the way 😉
    and am clapping already for the post !

  7. Hey Miss Candy! 🙂 This is quite interesting and you made me curious! I had no idea these things were happening! Although I had experienced the “I wrote something for your blog, now you give me all your contacts to pay me back!” LOL
    Don’t let bitches upset you, just do your thing!
    Let’s go out for a drink sometime! 🙂

  8. I love it!! Keep em coming….. oops incase I just offended people and PR companies with that statement, then its all good, I got a very capable PR agent to sort it out 🙂

  9. You can’t spread respect and awareness by hate language my dear. a woman your age and as a Muslim shouldn’t be speaking like this if you want to spread etiquette and respect amongst people. Calling other people bitch and bitchy is not nice, hasn’t your mother taught you? those are people who may be better than you in God’s eyes and here you are judging them and pretending to have the right to call them ill names even though no one is harming you as i follow blogs and have never heard of you before until my friend sent me this post because she thought it was funny. not only is your blog of poor quality but also your manners. now people are calling u the bitchy one as u r acting like one through out your essay. spread love and cleanse your heart from hate.

    • If you read my post, you will clearly see I did not call anyone a bitch. I pointed out that bitchy behaviour was unnecessary as the blogging community in Dubai was small and all inter-related.
      There was no hateful language used in my post and regardless of my age or my religion, I said nothing in this post that wasn’t being said by many bloggers I have spoken to on several occasions in regards to the matter. In fact, if you read the reactions of the bloggers, they agree with me.
      I am blessed that my mother taught me incredibly well about morals and upstanding and how not to be treated like a doormat, something that unfortunately some people take advantage of. My manners are impeccable because I was taught respect from both my parents – and the purpose of my post was to highlight that bloggers should be respected and treated equally as no one is better than anyone else. I did not say I was better than anyone else, nor did I judge anyone. I clearly asked not to be judged and for people to not make assumptions as that is only for God to decide. The staircase to heaven isn’t paved with people showing their holiness to others. If you want to impress by religion, impress God. I’m just here writing a blog.
      As for your opinion of my blog being of poor quality, as I said, my blog is for personal expression and probably not to the liking of everyone, but that again is the beauty of freedom of expression.

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