Fashion Faux-Pas

Admit it. We don’t always have good fashion days. Sometimes an outfit can go dreadfully wrong and you look back at pictures and think “What the hell was I wearing?!” We all have those dodgy pictures that we pray never see the light of day again. You know the ones with the bad hair (pre-GHD days I like to call them), the poor fashion choices (I blame my mother for most of these) and the dodgy eye-brows. I secretly pray no one EVER sees my high school pictures pre-eyebrow threading!

But is it really that hard in this day and age to go so terribly wrong that a call to the fashion police would be considered a favour?

For the past few days I’ve been asking people on Twitter and Facebook, what they think is their ultimate fashion faux-pas and the responses I have had me laughing for hours. Why a man would go out in glow-in-the-dark boxers and white linen shorts is beyond me! Here’s some more errors in style judgment.

Leggings are a top offender in the fashion faux-pas category. Don’t get me wrong, I love leggings when worn in the right way. Just do not wear them with short little tops or as a substitute for pants/trousers! I had a half an hour rant yesterday with a friend over our passionate dislike for the “leggings worn as pants” look. It is NOT cool. No one wants to witness your camel toe! Wear leggings with a loose fit top and your good to go. Anything else, go inside and change – immediately!

Whoever started the trend of wearing socks with sandals needs to be hunted down and shot! I mean when has this ever been ok? And with flip-flops! Come on!! Even my grandpa knows better!

Whilst we’re on the topic of incorrect attire with shoes, tights with open-toed shoes are another major pet-peeve. Don’t do it. Just don’t!

Lulu and Amber both despise fishnet stockings and I can’t say I blame them! And Ramin Maher says socks were created for a reason. This does not excuse loafers!

Another shoe offender – Crocs. The most hideous form on footwear ever. EVER!

Sticking with shoes, we all know that they are usually a woman’s weak point, but under no circumstance should you wear fake Louboutins! If you can’t afford them, go for a high-street alternative. There are millions of shoe shops all over the world. Don’t fake a red sole! They are crafted by people who know what they are doing and a knock-off will only make you feel cheap in comparison.

You may not be able to afford Louboutins, but as my friend Sarah Sarraf says, darling we don’t need to see how much you paid for the shoes with you leaving the price tag/sticker on the bottom! Remove before wear. Simple.

The above image makes me want to run in shame. Ladies and gents, you know how all clothing comes with these super little tags inside that tells us the size? Well how about you read them!? There is no excuse to wear clothing that is too small! Maybe you don’t want to be a size 14 and squeeze yourself into a size 12 to make yourself feel better, but honey, it does not look good! It results in muffin tops and various other hideous sights. Stop it!

VPL, or visible panty line is something I cannot stand. There are hundreds of retailers out there selling underwear and you don’t need to fork out hundreds of pounds to get it right. Ladies even Primark sells underwear, so sort it out!

Expect a rant now. Ladies, I like many of you have a thing for lingerie. I buy it all the time.With the global lingerie market estimated worth last year being $32.1 billion, why oh why are so many of you getting it wrong?!!

1. A black bra under a white top is a no-no! Take note of Kim Kardashian in the picture above. A simple outfit is made trashy with the wrong choice of bra.

2. I cannot stand clear/see-through bra straps. I think this is one of the most pointless inventions ever created in the history of mankind! We can still see the strap!

3. Having coloured bra straps peeking out from under your clothing is also so wrong! There is an invention called the strapless bra. Use it!

4. If you are well-endowed, do not go out without a bra. Gravity is not your friend! Nor are all the men staring at you! Barbera Streisand above is a warning to you all!

Another thing ladies, no matter how cute your thong or G-string is, we do not want to see it!

On the flip side, we don’t want to subjected to your butt-clevage, so cover it up!

Hold it right there Mister? Where are your pants going? To your neck? There’s high-waisted and then there’s plain ridiculous! Make sure you don’t wear your pants too high!

Brown belt, black shoes. Go inside and change one of them now! There are some colour that should not be mixed.

If ever there was a Greek tragedy in terms of clothing, this would be it. Jeans with an elastic waist-band! Are you pregnant? No. Then go and burn those and get yourself some decent fitting jeans for the love of God!

As we are on the subject of denim, a lot of people do NOT like the denim on denim or “double denim” trend. Mix it up with other fabric for a fresh and funky look. And don’t pull a Britney & J.T and wear matching outfits with you beau. That is only plausible on Halloween and in costume!

No! No! No! No! No! No to fakes! This a crime against fashion and so is wearing clothing that brand logo is vomited all over it! Don’t do it! And don’t mix logos whilst wearing an outfit! So wrong!

Sitting with fakes to point out my next fashion annoyance, the fake handbag. Does Chanel make that bag in that style? Does a Lady Dior come in that size? Has Louis Vuitton ever collaborated with Gucci to make some sort of design-hybrid? NO!! Get a taxi and get out of Karama now!

Bum-bag/Fanny packs – call them whatever you want, they are not an accessory I condone in my closet. Sorry Rihanna. I usually like your style, but this one is a definite HELL-NO with me.

Style isn’t just about your clothing or your accessories. Personal grooming is a major contributor to having great style. Make sure you follow the following simple rules:

1. Don’t over do it with the spray tan! You are not an orangutan. You want to see one of them, entry to Dubai Zoo is like 5dhs and they are very cute.

2. Maintain your manicure. Chipped nails are not classy. And a polish change can be done on your lunch break and if you pay the extra 7dhs, they can use Quik-drops to get you out of the door even faster!

3. Please don’t go au natural, a la Julia Roberts. Wax or have laser hair removal done. No one wants to see excessive hair.

4. If you dye your hair, have your roots maintained regularly. It is not a pretty look when half your hair is one colour and the other a different colour.

One final note – don’t EVER do this to the interior of your home. For the love of all humanity, they sell stuff like this in Dragon Mart, run in the other direction and fast!!

I just want to thank everyone for their input in this post. Said from Active Media was especially funny with his quips about men from a certain region losing the facial hair, as supported by Backstreet Boys circa 2002 and Nabi from Dubai has an issue with Burqas! Babe you live in the wrong region to be complaining about that one!

Let me know what fashion faux-pas grates on you the wrong way. You input and feedback are always greatly appreciated!

Bisous xoxo

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5 thoughts on “Fashion Faux-Pas

  1. Women and gay men are the only people that hate pantylines. Straight men either like them (a lot) or don’t care. If you are looking to impress other women and/or gay men then avoid VPL. However, if you want to do straight men a favor wear those tiny panties under thin white pants…

  2. Hello There!! Thats good you ve been talking about these misses ! I am always picking all these unmannered issues But I do not find someone around me seeing it abnormal ! Glad you mentioned them !;))

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